'It’s kind of a weird day because I’m sad about Paul but happy about Gary. Together, the emotions make me feel kind of weird and hopeless.'
Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher This week, an office manager trying to choose between two men: 50, straight, Flatiron.7 a.m. My body is conditioned to wake up early but the reality is I don’t have to anymore … my kids are both in college. Twins, a daughter and a son. I don’t have to get up and make their lunches anymore and shove them off to school. I couldn’t wait for it to end … and now I miss it.
3:30 p.m. We usually come back to my place and have sex after our lunch dates but we ate a LOT of Indian food. Instead, we kiss good-bye after the restaurant and I go home to do some work. 4 p.m. Work is long and boring. I tell Paul he should come over later because I’m picking up sushi from our favorite place. He’s fully in.
7:30 p.m. The date, call him Gary, is already at the bar waiting for me. My friend was right — he has a sexy swagger. He’s tall, bald, handsome, and really well dressed. He smells good too. He compliments my dress, which I know means he’s noticed my cleavage. I feel like he has a little bit of a dirty mind and can’t help but like it.
9:30 a.m. Surprise! A “good morning!” text from Gary. That’s all it says: Good Morning! Hmmm … I guess he just wanted to skip a day and make we want him more. He is a savvy businessman after all. I text back a few hours later and we make a plan for dinner tomorrow night. 8:30 p.m. As I get into bed, I masturbate to the idea of Paul fucking me. Maybe, from now on, the fantasy will be as good as the real thing was.9 a.m. I’m awake and ready to take a run and get myself right for tonight, Gary had suggested a French restaurant in Brooklyn that I’ve always wanted to try. I’m so excited. We’re meeting first at 6:30 p.m. for a drink near the restaurant.
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