Mariel Loveland (CandyHeartsBandLife) opens up about finding her way home after life on the road & more
As the leader of a popular band, traveling to play shows became the new normal - and made the process of adjusting to a stable, stationary life all the more trying.
For both of us, it’s not hard to get nostalgic about the years of sleeping bags and hotel beds -- waking up to the accidental swipe of a rumble strip, or laughing until we cried on the floor of a stranger’s house. It has, after all, taken up a third of my life. “After [the instability of] touring, I needed stuff to be reliable and stable,” he told me, “but I’m still afraid of finding someone normal. I don’t think I can be attracted to someone totally well-adjusted.” He hasn’t been on the road in half a decade. I am very much like him.
The thing about tour is that it’s an unending series of highs and lows. There is no high like staring out past the venue spotlights to a sea of blurry faces screaming your words. There is no greater ache than the one that chains itself to your soul when you first discover the impossible blackness of the West Texas desert at night. You will never feel closer to any single human being than you do picking apart your fears at 4 a.m.
For me, I always searched for a home in other anchorless people, tangling ourselves together like two buoys swept out to sea. We’d leave behind notes for each other on green room walls and in backstage bathrooms. We were never too far behind. This doesn’t work as well when you’re waking up in the same bed every morning. It starts to feel like a bad hangover -- whiplash from a life of constant motion -- and I admit, I had a propensity to recreate the chaos like it was the hair of the dog.
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