“I might take five minutes instead of 50 seconds to tell a complicated anecdote, and I once accidentally told a Tinder date that I was seriously horny when I meant to say I was feeling hot”
Photo: J.V. Aranda I recognized him as soon as I saw him. He looked just like his Tinder photo; he was smiling and he seemed normal. In ordinary circumstances, this would have calmed my nerves. But this time my biggest fear wasn’t what he looked like — it was what he sounded like.“Marcel,” he said, kissing me back. “Como andas? Fue seshlo para vosh shegar asha?”“Perdona,” I said. “Otra vez?” He repeated it, like I’d asked, but I still couldn’t understand his Argentinian accent.
The date was tough. It took a solid 40 minutes of my smiling politely and panic-guessing what he was saying before my ear started to attune to his accent and we could communicate properly. But even when I did understand what he was saying, I made mistakes. I was so nervous that I made the kind of basic errors only beginners would. Then I berated myself so much for making those mistakes that I made more. The whole stress of it only ended when he leaned in to kiss me. Possibly out of pity.
But dating in another language has been a completely different experience. I’m always missing irony or sarcasm, I can’t crack jokes, I might take five minutes instead of 50 seconds to tell a complicated anecdote, and I once accidentally told a Tinder date that I was seriously horny when I meant to say I was feeling hot.
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