It's important to talk about grief openly and honestly right now. JaimieSeaton spoke with kerryeganwriter about grieving in these challenging times.
." I've thought about that interview often in the past weeks, and recently reached out to Egan for her guidance on how to cope with grief during this period of isolation.
"But simply seeing that you [reached out] might be a sense of comfort," Egan said."It's a way to let people know that, even if we can't physically be with them in their grief, we still have an emotional presence."Even under normal circumstances, however, we live in a society that has little patience for grief. Like so much else in our culture, grief is often seen as something to be conquered or a short-term condition to be dealt with quickly.
When I told Egan about this, she explained that I was going through the process of figuring out how the world would look after my mother died. My friend,"Peter," who asked not to be identified to protect his privacy, has been grappling with that adjustment since November, when his 35-year-old son took his own life. In the months before the pandemic, I often checked in to make sure he was getting out of the house and interacting with others. Now he is alone.
He tells me that isolation magnifies his grief and robs him of his energy and stamina. Peter continues to lift weights at home, does virtual yoga classes and works in the yard. He's also continued his consulting practice which he operates from his home . "There is a sense with suicide that it is your fault; somehow that you should have been able to prevent it," Egan said."No one thinks to themselves, this person died of a severe mental illness, the way you would say this person died of severe heart disease. No one says, ‘I should have been able to single handedly rip out that stage four colon cancer.'"I know there is nothing I can say to Peter that will assuage his pain.
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