“I think it’s definitely scarier when you need to do it versus just doing it preventatively.”
I have actually been super private about my IVF stuff. A friend of mine started doing IVF and found out I had, and when I talked to her, I realized how much information wasn’t out there. So many questions that weren’t answered. I am married. I have been with my husband for 20 years and we have tried to conceive naturally for, oh man, we’re going on eight and a half years now. It came down to having really bad doctors that just didn’t listen and kept blaming it on everything else.
The first thing that people should know going into this is it’s a very slow process. So it starts off with a lot of testing — even if they know, for me, that I have a low egg reserve, they still wanna do a litany of tests. I wanted to try to get pregnant. My first egg retrieval, I had 15 follicles. We got out of those 15 follicles 13 eggs. At that point, if I had wanted to just freeze the eggs and store them, that’s when they would store them.
We did one transfer after our first egg retrieval. It was successful and we were really excited. Then, about 10 weeks in, I had my ultrasound and my fibroids had pushed my embryo into a position for miscarriage. I had a very brutal miscarriage and ended up having to do surgery to get the fibroids out because fibroids get really big when you get pregnant.
Coming up on the third egg retrieval, I had to do a lot of therapy. I highly recommend anybody who does this has a very good therapist they can go to. I told my husband and my therapist I didn’t know if I wanted to do it again because I felt like a science experiment. The doctors are poking your body all the time and everybody’s poking you and prodding you and testing you.
It’s really important for me at least with IVF to recognize the privilege we have that we’re able to even do it in the first place, because not everybody has the option of freezing eggs or freezing embryos. Even with that privilege, we have had to take out personal loans, loans from family members; we’ve had to charge credit cards. And then when you do that and it doesn’t work, there is a feeling of absolute failure.
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