I believe I’m doing the right thing by keeping my teenagers away from her because I know how she treated me ...
DEAR ANNIE: Almost 15 years ago, my older sister removed me from her life after a series of messy arguments. At the time, she just stopped taking my calls and waited for me to leave family functions before going. She told our three siblings and mother that she didn’t want me in her life. She likely gave them reasons but never allowed anyone to tell me.
Recently, I came to the conclusion that my sister removing me from her life was a blessing. She was toxic, and our relationship is a long history of cruelty on her part and a lack of boundaries mixed with codependency on mine. I told our oldest sister just that. She responded by sending my husband -- who she’s never met or spoken to -- a message for me and then blocking him. Her argument was that I had played the victim for 15 years, that I was hateful and didn’t support her. She said that I was using my kids as leverage. She called me toxic and stated that she was disappointed I didn’t make any efforts to know her kids. She also stated repeatedly that I had been talking badly about her to everyone during the last 15 years.
My siblings, their spouses and kids all seem to love her and have great relationships with her. It feels like most of the time, though, that if I don’t reach out to them, I don’t hear from them at all.
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