He says their behavior and comments don’t bother him. What gives?
My boyfriend has been hanging out with a group of “friends” since college. He is now 41. The women in this group are unfriendly toward me. They don’t say hello or goodbye or even acknowledge my existence when I am around them. I have talked to my boyfriend about this time and again, and he defends their behavior. He says I “lack empathy.”
We have been dating for a year and a half, and I realize the other “friends” he surrounds himself with are as bad or worse. When I give him examples of how these people treat him poorly and treat me rudely, he brushes it off, saying their behavior and comments don’t bother him. What gives?What “gives” is this: Your boyfriend is comfortable with these people because he is LIKE them. If he had higher self-esteem and was more highly motivated, he wouldn’t be hanging out with those losers.
I lost my job, and the market around here is terrible, which has pushed the idea of us moving to the forefront. I don’t expect us to go anywhere now, but it is becoming crystal clear that this place isn’t going to get me far. My husband is a teacher, but between terms he has the option to leave. When we married, it was with the understanding that we would eventually leave, or so I thought.
I feel like the rug has been pulled out from under me, and I don’t know what to do. I love my husband, but I love myself, too. I will never be happy here. I’ve tolerated it for five years, and I’m miserable. How am I supposed to compromise on an absolute? We can’t both move and not move.Your husband should have been honest with you from the beginning about his feelings and ties to the community.
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