Complaints by a former retail worker who says she felt pressured to pierce the ears of a crying girl have reignited discussion around what circumstances children should be allowed to define their own personal boundaries.
Raylene Marks says she quit her job at a Claire's accessories store near Edmonton after refusing to pierce the ears of a sobbing seven-year-old who begged her mother to go home.
Marks says she reached her breaking point March 31 when a girl sobbed for 30 minutes while protesting a piercing requested by her mother. Marks says she told a co-worker who was also trying to pierce the child that she couldn't continue, and the mother eventually eased off, too. Claire's responded in an emailed statement that Marks "acted appropriately and in line with our policy by refusing to do the piercing," noting employees have the right to refuse when a child resists.
Parenting expert and Peterborough, Ont.-based author Ann Douglas says once-routine traditions -- including ear piercings and circumcision -- are now battlegrounds for evolving notions of child autonomy. Douglas says not acknowledging a child's feelings and wishes can affect their ability to set boundaries later in life in more mature relationships. She encourages families to discuss consent and autonomy on an ongoing basis.
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