A couple's struggle with how many children to have highlights the importance of open communication and understanding individual motivations. This story explores the potential pitfalls of differing family aspirations and offers insights from a marriage and family therapist.
Social logins don't work in some apps. Please use a standard web browser (like Safari, Chrome, Firefox, Edge) to log in with Google or Facebook. Your account isn't active yet. We've emailed you an activation link. Please check your inbox and click the link to activate your account.\This isn't a typical login issue. This story is about a couple grappling with a difficult decision: how many children to have. Opaquesilence and his wife, while both wanting a family, couldn't agree on the 'number'.
He envisioned stopping after their second child, while she desired more. When she unexpectedly became pregnant again, Opaquesilence began to question if he'd been 'baby-trapped'. Seeking an objective viewpoint, he shared their story online, inviting others to share their opinions. \According to licensed marriage and family therapist Wendy Hill, couples should ideally discuss their desired number of children before marriage. It's a fundamental life goal that aligns with the overall vision for their partnership. When these aspirations diverge, conflicts like Opaquesilence and his wife's become inevitable. The economic burden of raising a child is considerable, with the Brookings Institution estimating an average cost of $310,605 for a middle-income family with two children from birth to age 17. \While Opaquesilence's concerns about finances are valid, Hill emphasizes exploring the underlying fears. These can range from feeling inadequate as a parent to uncertainties about starting over with a newborn. Conversely, Hill encourages the partner wanting more children to examine their motivations. Is it a yearning for fulfillment or a desire to address a feeling of loneliness? She cautions against using a child to fulfill personal needs, advocating for alternative solutions to address those underlying desires. Ultimately, Hill believes couples should address this question proactively, acknowledging that individual viewpoints can evolve over time
FAMILY PLANNING COMMUNICATION RELATIONSHIPS PARENTHOOD FINANCIAL PLANNING
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