'Putting on a shirt for the first time in 90 days and no longer feeling the breeze on my chest—I fucking hate it. But that’s life, you know?'
No use denying it. Temperatures are dropping; the sun’s setting earlier every day. As much as I hate to admit it, I gotta nut up and pack it in for the year. The time has come to grab a T-shirt and cover up the goods—maybe something mesh or without sleeves at first, to smooth the transition.
As fast as they seem to go by, those completely shirtless summer months spent boozing and hollering at baseball games and street festivals, playing Frisbee in the park, or getting asked to leave the Rite Aid when you’re just trying to pick up some aloe and a sixer of Lime-A-Ritas are that much sweeter when you look forward to ’em all year long.
Putting on a shirt for the first time in 90 days and no longer feeling the breeze on my chest—I fucking hate it. But that’s life, you know? There’s just some stuff you gotta wear a shirt for: going back to your old high school to watch the homecoming football game, Thanksgiving dinner, DUI hearings—and all those things are coming up soon. Eventually the nights get too cold even for throwing a light jacket over your bare chest and zipping it up just an inch or two.
But for now, it’s time to take a deep breath and say a fond farewell to a few good friends: Goodbye birthmark and nipple ring and badly peeling skin; goodbye stomach hair and 311 tattoo—I gotta hide your light under a bushel for the next nine months, but you’ll all be back on display come Memorial Day, when I once again pull off my shirt, hook it through my belt loop, pop on my Oakley wraparounds, and triumphantly turn my upper body to the summer sun.
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