Advice | Carolyn Hax: 30-something boyfriend cancels their trip after mommy says no

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Advice | Carolyn Hax: 30-something boyfriend cancels their trip after mommy says no
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  • 📰 washingtonpost
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Boyfriend thinks it's normal that he canceled their trip because his mom 'said no.'

I think it’s astonishing, and scary, how you just threw in at the end that your boyfriend thinks you were raised badly and need to be controlled.

Maybe I lack imagination, but I can think of only two things someone would do upon deciding his mate was ill-bred: Break up with the “damaged goods,” or stay to try to fix them. You do assert your side, that you think he’s the one who needs fixing . However, the facts of your question suggest the willingness to adjust/improve/please is running strictly one way. Your boyfriend plans trips; you go. He cancels; you don’t go. You protest to him; he insults you. He expects you to live by his convictions; you ask me for permission to live by your own.

Already, you have the shaken confidence in your own beliefs to show for it. Please get help — competent counseling, stat — and learn not just how to get out from under this guy’s thumb, but also how to flick away anyone else’s. Stat.I confided in my neighbor about a pretty serious health issue I was having. We haven’t been long-term friends from way back or anything. Did I cross the line? Oh, and yeah, he’s married.

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