Your support can mean the world.
Here, several trauma counselors and one trauma survivor explain how to help a friend or family member who has been through something horrible. Exactly what they need from you will depend on your relationship and evolve throughout their recovery, but the suggestions below are a good place to start.“Acknowledge that what has happened to them is terrible,” Daniel A. Nelson, M.D.
It might feel like you’re saying something obvious, but this affirmation can be reassuring. “It’s about articulating that you see they are in pain and that you are OK with holding that pain,” Manya remembers breaking down sobbing, seemingly out of nowhere, while at dinner with a friend a few weeks after the bombing. Her friend remained calm and stayed with her until she was done crying before asking Manya where her tears were coming from. “She didn't tell me, ‘Don’t cry,’ or offer me advice. She just listened and was present,” Manya recalls.
While it’s OK to ask if your loved one feels like speaking, respect that they may not want to, Dr. Nelson says. Part of being aIf your loved one is still navigating how much they’re comfortable sharing, Marshall Woods recommends figuring out a verbal or nonverbal cue they can give you to back off when they need space, no questions asked.Survivors often get a lot of support immediately after the traumatic event, but attention from the media, the public, and loved ones tends to dwindle soon after.
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