Family stories are typically passed down through the generations. But when Sadiya Ansari investigated a family secret with her father, the roles reversed – and that gave both of them the gift of understanding
When I arrived at Karachi’s Jinnah International Airport six years ago, my father, Rafi, stood right outside its main entrance, excitedly waving at me. He had somehow pushed through the thick crowd of eager relations, and appeared to be dressed for the office at 4 in the morning, wearing beige slacks and a crisp button-down beneath a navy blazer.
I had a hunch there was more to the story beneath the shroud of shame covering Daadi’s life. And in the end, there was – enough to write a book, in fact. But when I started out, I had little to go on. My father rarely told me stories from his childhood, let alone anything revealing the impact of losing his father at 11, then losing his mother in a very different way as a teen.
But then she mentioned that Daadi had surprised her with a visit outside of her school not long after she first left. And more than a decade later, she revealed, Daadi showed up at Lubna’s in-laws’ home – an appearance made even more awkward by the fact that her in-laws had been told that Daadi was dead.
On that first trip, despite knowing I was the one pushing the agenda, part of me still expected my father to lead – it was more his country than mine, and he was the parent, after all. This time, I acknowledged that, in this project, I was going to have to be in charge. I was the one who knew how to dig up names and addresses and make travel arrangements into a remote part of Pakistan.
Wajahat’s wife served us chai while her husband recounted everything he knew about Daadi’s time in the small town. He was eager to hear from my father about what happened to her after she left, too. The woman who provided a bridge between these two men had been dead for more than 20 years, and yet an honest, emotional exchange unfolded between them.
Daadi Father Dad Mother Life Time Haroonabad Daadi Markham Macbook Punjab
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