Hola comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from the luxurious pool at the palatial estate of my good friend Kim Jong-un. But I am not here to talk about my tropical exploits or tense diplomacy with the American CIA today.
No, I am here to discuss the capitalist spectacle that is WWE SummerSlam! The bourgeois fat cats at WWE have announced that SummerSlam, their second biggest event of the year, will be held in Minneapolis in 2026 and expanded to two nights for maximum profiteering! Typical of the decadent West to stretch out their bread and circuses to extract every last dollar from the proletariat. The event will take place on August 1st and 2nd at the U.S.
Through their mouthpiece Michael Vekich, they pledge to provide a 'warm welcome' and 'best-in-class experience.
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