We can put as much thought into a gift as we want, but ultimately, the receiver decides if it's a hit or a miss.
“It’s easy for families to feel divided and mutually resentful when their answers to these questions start to diverge,” Gordon-Smith explained.
In these situations, according to her, phrases like “we don’t have buckets of money!” aren’t very helpful, primarily because the rift might not just be about estimates of capital. “It might also be about a suspicion, from either side, that the other is privately judging them for where they have wound up,” the academic said. “When a child moves significantly away from the class or lifestyle of their parents, it’s extremely common for parents to experience the shift as a kind of rejection.
So, what to do? The important thing, Gordon-Smith said, is to temper some of your resentment about your in-laws’ resentment. “I’m not saying your feelings are misplaced—they could be totally apt. But sometimes these cycles only break when one of us decides to put aside the feelings we’re allowed to have,” she added.By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners.
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