My husband said he was leaving for good. So, I took all my sadness and anger and fear into the kitchen and mastered the most difficult meals. It may also have saved our marriage, Lauren Byrne writes
First Person is a daily personal piece submitted by readers. Have a story to tell? See our guidelines atAlmost every childhood memory I have is centred on food. Telling stories over laughter around a crowded table at holiday dinners. The sound of sugar being stirred into a cup of tea, the smell of roasting vegetables, the feeling of heat coming from the kitchen, all conjure a familiar feeling of love and comfort inside me that cannot be reproduced by any other means.
When she eventually died, my grandfather never made bread again. To this day, I have never tasted bread that was as good as theirs. No other loaf I have come across has ever been made with that kind of powerful, unconditional love. In the beginning, the kitchen was my solace. I enjoyed the solitude as I fried Brussels sprouts in bacon fat and butter. I battered chicken and stirred honey-garlic sauce and revelled in the control I had while standing over the stove. On exceptionally cold days, I would switch to soup. Thick chowder with chunks of fresh fish and generous amounts of cream. Cracked black pepper sprinkled over and crusty bread on the side to soak up the remnants.
As time wore on, my semi-estranged husband began to inquire about suppers. These conversations began to feel somewhat normal. He began spending time in the kitchen, at first as a spectator, but soon chopping peppers for pasta or incorporating spices into ground beef for meatloaf. Because we were in such close quarters, we would talk as we cooked. Initially, it felt robotic. Just going through the motions. But it slowly turned into a new dance we were learning the steps to.
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