Why the Netflix musical 'Diana' is theme-park schlock and a bad sign for Broadway

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Why the Netflix musical 'Diana' is theme-park schlock and a bad sign for Broadway
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'Diana: The Musical,' about the ill-starred royal marriage, is streaming ahead of its Broadway opening. There's a reason for that.

A funny thing happened on the way to Netflix for the musical “Diana.” The company of the show, which had a racketyThe musical, which is streaming ahead of its Broadway premiere in November, is still a crassly commercial noise machine. But the ensemble has grown a touch more dignified. The characters have been flecked with a few human lineaments.

The book by Joe DiPietro and the music by David Bryan still have their insoluble problems. Together, they compound each other’s faults — nowhere more so than in the co-written lyrics, which may be the worst I’ve heard in a theater. Diana humble-brags that she’s “underestimated” in the opening number, and indeed the naïve kindergarten teacher’s assistant from aristocratic British stock will prove a surprisingly formidable opponent in the Machiavellian court. But the musical, performed on a darkened stage with flashy Las Vegas lighting effects under the direction of Christopher Ashley, exploits Diana’s story with the same mercenary glee as the tabloid vultures who tracked her every move when she was alive.

As Queen Elizabeth, Judy Kaye — a treasure of American musical theater — is more direct in her realpolitik than Olivia Colman’s more discreet version of the character on “The Crown.” In conference with Charles and Diana about their careening marriage, the queen expresses a twinge of nostalgia for the old days when a defiant princess would simply have had her head chopped off.

Did DiPietro and Bryan really rhyme “Diana and Camilla” with “thrilla in Manila?” Does Diana actually sing the words: “Serves me right for marrying a Scorpio?” Yes and yes — and please don’t ask about the cutesy F-bombs in the the song “The Dress.”

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