Even the happiest relationships are built on a series of negotiations, both high-stakes and low. But when one partner constantly accommodates the other, it can lead to a range of problems.
Others of us are at risk of digging in and only rarely deferring. Here are some signs that your avoidance of accommodation may be hurting your individual and relational wellbeing:You scan vigilantly for evidence that things are unfair in your relationship.If you resonate with the first list, see how it feels to stand your ground once in a while with your partner. This does not mean that you should overcorrect by becoming stubborn or completely unaccommodating all of the time.
Rather, view your relationship as a playground in which you can practice what it feels like to articulate your needs more regularly and see how your partner reacts if you resonate with the second list, check in with yourself during negotiation, and ask yourself whether you might be willing, in the name of growth, to make an accommodation or sacrifice this time, in service of your partner’s comfort,The bottom line is that we have to practice the sacred art of letting stuff go in an intimate...
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