Men often worry about their ability to hold up their end of intimate relationships. Here's why—and how they can gain more confidence, by avrum_weiss
Boys are generally at a disadvantage in this coming back together of the sexes, and they know it. While the girls may have been practicing for this moment for years, the boys often have not been giving it much thought, much less preparing. One woman told me that she spent hours practicing kissing the back of her hand as a little girl, teaching herself how to kiss her imagined future partner.
I learned a lot about gender roles in relationships from our male rabbit named Fez. Rabbits are happiest as pair-bonded animals, so after five years as a bachelor, we decided to get Fez a female partner. After trying Fez with several available ladies, he and a younger rabbit named Mila seemed to hit it off. Mila had been raised in the shelter with other rabbits, so she had more experience in relationships than Fez.
Some women reading this may be identifying with Mila, thinking about the work they’ve had to do to teach their partners how to be in a relationship. At the same time, some men may be identifying with Fez, remembering the times their partner “bit” them for not knowing what the hell they were supposed to be doing. Like Fez, men sometimes feel clueless and terrified that their interpersonal inadequacies will be exposed.
, are not open to new learning and default to the aggressive and competitive skills that got them there.
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