“Self-love – by which I mean the relationship you have with yourself – is, like all relationships, changeable and cunning.”
It strikes me afresh at moments like this, when letters like yours hold concepts like these up to the light, what a deeply weird and tricksy world this is. I can understand your feelings of guilt.
“Self-love” is one of those things, along with empowerment and body positivity, that women are told they must achieve or obtain in order to find happiness or success. But love is not a can of Coke. Love is not a shoe. Love cannot be bought, nor sold, nor found one night in a tub of moisturiser, nor controlled entirely from within. Self-love – by which I mean the relationship you have with yourself – is, like all relationships, changeable and cunning, and impacted by everything from how other people see you to whether you had a decent breakfast this morning.
I get the basic gist of the thing – if you crawl into the date streaked with tears, in uncomfortable clothes, apologising for your dullness and telling stories of interior catastrophe, rather than striding in with mischief and joy, it’s unlikely a potential partner will want to hitch their wagon to you. But I don’t think you have to be wildly in love with yourself to find happiness.
By “failing” to achieve self-love, you feel you have failed at some fundamental human task, and therefore are unworthy of anybody else’s love. Which is clearly bollocks. Nobody feels that love all the time, and nobody needs to. Instead, in a single day, most people feel a combination of self-disgust, self-irritation, self-shame, self-horniness and self-hilarity, landing, if we’re lucky, on some sticky version of self-like. Which, in my opinion, is a far healthier and far more realistic aim.
Canada Latest News, Canada Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Vincent van Gogh: Hidden self-portrait discovered by X-ray“What a major discovery” A self-portrait of Vincent Van Gogh has been discovered hidden on the back of another painting
Read more »
The Designer Creating Characterful Self-Portraits From His Bedroom“I just want to make something that is a feast for the eyes, for my own interest,” says designer and image-maker Joseph Bates of his deeply personal fashion image-making practice
Read more »
Sex Education star explains why Netflix series may end with season 4'You have to age, you have to move on, so there is always an end in sight.'
Read more »
Why You Should Care—A Lot—About the Webb Telescope ImagesWhy you should care—a lot—about the Webb Telescope images 📝: jeffreykluger
Read more »
Why your next cycling shoes should be BOA-poweredCheck out the latest shoes to feature the BOA® Fit System – plus the advantages of choosing BOA. ad
Read more »