“By the time I think about what I want to say, the other kids have moved on to another topic.” “It’s just too hard to follow the conversation.” How to help your child when they struggle to contribute to a conversation.
Many children with ADHD and learning disabilities are chatterboxes, keeping their mouths moving as fast as their hyperactive bodies. Other kids with ADHD barely speak at all, especially outside of the home. Parents ask me, “Why won’t he talk to people?” Often, it’s because of extreme shyness.
This was the situation with Sue , a happy four-year-old who loved to play with dolls. Sue had always been considered shy, but her language skills seemed fine. Then came prekindergarten; she was so anxious in the classroom that she found it hard to communicate with her teachers or classmates . Thanks to her teachers’ patience, along with some cognitive-behavioral techniques, Sue gradually became able to speak at school — first in a whisper and eventually in a normal voice.
Some timid children will do almost anything to avoid social situations in which they might have to speak. One child confessed to me that he was afraid to eat in the lunchroom. Why? Because he was worried that someone would sit down beside him and initiate a conversation. “I’ll sound stupid,” he said. So he started spending his lunch period in the library.What’s the best way to help such a child? Reassurance, certainly. But reassurance alone may not solve the problem.
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