'Don’t let others dictate when and how you come forward'
There were knots when the two men spoke of how having sons was the catalyst for them to come forward with their claims. Imagining the same thing happening to their boys was not only unbearable but also reminded them of their own innocence as children ― innocence they say was stolen by Jackson in the late 1980s and early ’90s.― a novel inspired by her own sexual abuse ― looks at her daughters, ages 6 and 4, now and thinks the same thing.
If you’ve experienced sexual trauma, there are a few things you should know before watching the doc. Below, Randis, Neves and other trauma therapists share the topics they’re discussing with their clients in the wake of the film.Depending on your stage of healing, the documentary may or may not be for you, said, a therapist in Richmond, Missouri, who specializes in sexual trauma. He said he has recommended that a few of his patients avoid seeing it.
“Some survivors think, `If I can’t make sense of it myself, how can I start a conversation about it with someone else?” he said. “Both James and Wade said that it was easier not to talk about it because they couldn’t make sense of it.” In the follow-up interview, Safechuck discusses the continued guilt he feels about coming forward with his story and outing Jackson, who outside of the abuse, became a sort of a second father figure in his life.. “That shadow, that guilt is still there.”
“His lawyer would stand right in front of him when he asked me questions, forcing me to look at him or in his direction to intimidate me, and there was an overwhelming feeling of guilt outing him in a room full of strangers,” she said.“The majority of guilt I felt was tied up in telling other people ‘our’ secret, but really, it was my abuser’s secret.” Toward the end of the documentary, Safechuck is asked if he has forgiven his mother for allowing the alleged abuse to happen.
Of course, I believe that there is great value in having someone like a therapist or survivor advocate that can help you process your feelings and validate your experiences. But this is not something that can be prescribed or mandated by others.The response from Jackson fans to the documentary has, rather predictably, been aggressive. Robson talks about gettingthe day before he did the Winfrey interview, and Twitter is full of the singer’s fans trying to discredit the two men.
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