One writer shares her experience taking Cole Imperi's 'Death Companioning Crash Course' during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Under pre-pandemic circumstances, most of this would have been done in-person. Now, with many people dying alone and grieving alone, death companions had to learn how to be virtual. I learned it wasn't about making grand gestures. It could be as simple as being a non-anxious presence, accompanying people through Zoom or social media if necessary, in their bereavement or through the anticipatory grief of an expected loss.
Realize and accept that, for now, religious services and funerals might have to be live-streamed. Planned viewings and burials might end up being direct cremations, as not all funeral directors are currently offering embalming. The inability to host or attend a funeral or to give someone the send-off they or you had hoped for does not reflect on you. I learned we must do the best we can with what is available and, most importantly, do so without guilt.
I learned it wasn't about making grand gestures. It could be as simple as being a non-anxious presence. Since finishing the course, I’m still just as concerned for the health and safety of loved ones as I was before. But being able to raise those issues in a class was endlessly comforting. I’ve learned more about what established health care and death care professionals are dealing with during the pandemic and how to have realistic expectations about what could happen.
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