'We brought our stillborn baby home to spend time with him before saying goodbye'
Gary was by my side, pale with shock, and listening to those words, I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. This couldn’t be happening. Not after all we’d been through. The next few hours passed in a blur, with midwives and doctors speaking to us about the fact I somehow had to deliver my baby.
That was when we learned we’d had a son. We named him Orion, after the constellation of stars. I knew that every time I looked up to the night sky, I would think of our son. Three days after his birth, Orion was taken for an autopsy – which failed to reveal the cause of his death – and I was discharged. Leaving the hospital without my baby was agony. I insisted on using a side door instead of the main maternity unit door, in case
The pain of seeing your child’s tiny coffin be placed in the ground is indescribable. Fifteen months on from Orion’s death, Gary and I have had counselling. Loss like this can tear some couples apart, but thankfully we are stronger than ever.
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