Do you feel heard and respected by your partner, or is a lack of empathy undermining your relationship?
“You are upset. I don’t know why, but I want to understand. Tell me.”“You are disappointed. I would be too. What can I do?”
Understanding how a partner feels does not mean a person relinquishes his or her own viewpoint. It simply means a person is willing to try and understand. This, alone, conveys respect and love. Often when a person receives empathy, he or she feels more connected to the person who “gets it” and less alone in his or her predicament. This is often comforting and sustains the closeness in the relationship.
Perhaps the most difficult time to have empathy for a partner is when you're the one who hurt them. Still, stay the course. Empathize with your partner’s feelings; “I disappointed you. I am sorry. I had a selfish moment. I won’t do that again.” This
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