Trader Joe’s Has Gone Full Fall, Reviewed

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Trader Joe’s Has Gone Full Fall, Reviewed
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IT'S PUMPKIN SPICE FACE MASK SEASON

That was the noise this frozen patty of tomato sauce made when I upended it into a small cast iron pan. The tomato glacier melts for a dangerous 7 minutes. You WILL get sauce on your shirt. Add two eggs, accidentally overcook them, and eat. This starter package is “bring your own eggs” as well as “bring your own bread,” so I ate it with TJ’s buttery frozen paratha , and promptly got more sauce on my second shirt. The sauce is somewhere between pizza sauce and salsa.

Disappeared on our office snack table in ~9 minutes. Some moaned. Some groaned. One called the cinnamon sugar on top “flavorless wet sand” while another cried out, “I LOVE THE WET SAND!” The texture was dense, buttery, and squishy. A saturated cake. The maple syrup wasn’t too strong. Christina Chaey made eye contact with me and said deeply, “This is good. This isgood.” “Could the bakery supplier behind it be Entenmann’s?” someone asked, sparking a rumor we can’t shake. WELL, PEOPLE.

Sauce bag! This creamy mango sauce has a nice garlic-cumin funk, and I’m guessing the ingredient “spices” is...curry powder? Joe and his secrets. I dipped pretzels in the Amba and it was great. Priya Krishna, who wrote about the

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