To The Woman Who Marries My Son: I'm Sorry & You're Welcome
, his sisters never wavered in their devotion. Not even when my younger daughter went to hug him, and he head-butted her so hard that her TWO front teeth were knocked out of her mouth. She consoled him, saying,"Don't worry! I'm okay", as she bled all over my car on the way to the dentist's office.
I won't say that his sisters thought his poop didn't stink. They did. When he passed gas, they would hold their nose and scream,"Ewww! Gross!" in unison, but then they would laugh and hug him, breathing in his stench like he just bathed in a tub of roses. And that reaction continued even when he was a teenager, and his aroma frequently made their eyes tear.Maybe it was because he was my last and I knew how fleeting his babyhood would be.
You are getting a man who believes he is the shiz – that his morning breath is minty, that his smile brings automatic absolution, and who anticipates that his every accomplishment will be met with praise. So, I apologize and want you to know, if he takes out the garbage, he will expect you will say,"What a big strong, helpful guy you are!” It’s my fault, and it’s his sisters’ fault.You are getting a wonderful man, and that is also because of his sisters and me.
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