Researchers are finding that our child-centred society has lost sight of one of the most important ingredients for a healthy, happy kids – healthy, happy parents
This translation has been automatically generated and has not been verified for accuracy.When Emily Oster, an economist at Brown University in Rhode Island, became a mother, she decided to analyze the actual data on contentious parenting issues such as breastfeeding, sleep and screen time.
“There need to be many more messages that you can ease up, that it is really okay to let go," says University of Calgary sociologist Gillian Ranson, who interviewed Canadian parents for her 2018 book,Many of the parents Dr. Ranson met felt battered by conflicting “expert” advice and judged to an impossible standard – vilified for hovering, shamed for not being present enough. The responsibility to ensure their children’s financial futures was overwhelming.
For starters, that means never buying another parenting book, suggests David Anderegg, a psychotherapist at Bennington College in Vermont, who first wrote about parental anxiety back in 2001, in a book called“My advice was not to listen to advice,” he says – a position, he suggests, that today’s parents need to hear more than ever.
There’s little data specifically showing that kids are happier when parents take more naps or find a fun hobby. But plenty of studies point to the negative effect of parental stress on a child’s self-esteem,and sense of security, in part because highly stressed parents are more likely to adopt harsh or inconsistent discipline. A 2009 American study found a link between depression among teenaged girls and stress in their families and a more controlling parenting style.
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