Matthew Eledge and Elliot Dougherty of Omaha, Nebraska, needed a surrogate to carry their baby. They never expected she would turn out to be Matthew’s mother.
, which would require insurance providers to cover reproductive health procedures like IVF. But all of these bills will likely face an uphill battle in a state senate with nearly twice as many Republican members as Democrats.
“I do think it’s sad that IVF as a process is exclusive to those who can afford it,” Matthew said. “And for queer couples, it’s a particular challenge.” But he acknowledged that this is a tricky subject. IVF isn’t quite like other reproductive health procedures that many think everyone should have free or subsidized access to, from cancer screenings to birth control and abortion.
The retrieval yielded about two dozen eggs, 11 of which were injected with Matthew’s sperm. After waiting five days for the embryos to develop, seven embryos had been successfully fertilized. Now, of those three, “One is here!” Matthew said — and that’s Uma. The other two are “on ice” in case the couple should want to expand their family.
They knew that, no matter what, their route to having kids would be expensive and time-consuming; with IVF, Matthew and Elliot wouldn’t have to deal with potential bigotry from adoption agencies in Nebraska. As of only two years ago, the No matter the age of the person hoping to get pregnant, “we always recommend using one embryo,” said Doherty. “Multiple gestations would mean an escalated risk of hypertension, preeclampsia, and C-sections.” Pregnancy is hard enough on the body without accounting for the possibility of twins or triplets growing in a 61-year-old uterus.
On day five after the transfer, Matthew came over at 4 a.m. , tearful, and asked Cecile to take the test. When she came out of the bathroom and gave him the bad news, he was devastated. But when Cecile offered him the pregnancy test stick to look at the test himself, he thought he saw it: the faintest little pink line.
“I had all the same symptoms, but probably more elevated,” Cecile said. “I had the same morning sickness, but it lasted longer. I had shortness of breath. But I worked out, I walked, I was physically active — as of last Monday, I was still working out on the elliptical. And actually, it was almost easier. Because I’m older, my diet’s been easier to control, and I didn’t have the responsibility of other children. Just this pregnancy.”Kirk joked about their experience at the fertility clinic.
“People were genuinely curious,” Matthew said. “They even had questions about incest. But this is so new and so unique. People didn’t understand at first, but once they do, they’re ridiculously supportive — they think it’s radical and amazing. They’re really inspired by my mom.” “When I offered to do this, I didn’t do this to be the center of attention. It was just my natural instinct to offer.”
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