'Intersex people require freedom from the social demands of what sex, bodies and gender should look like, so that our bodies can be sculpted by us and us alone.'
. There’s push now by activists to ban these surgeries at birth, and force doctors and parents to let intersex people make their own decisions as consenting adults.
Being told I wouldn’t be able to have sex until I was “fixed” felt devastating. Systemic misogyny claims that the value of women, and people perceived as women, lies in sexual availability to men. I was frightened that not being able to have penetrative sex meant I wasn’t date-able. For many intersex people, that feeling of worthlessness around sexual availability can fuel difficult decisions.
After months of dilation with no progress, I decided to undergo surgery after a series of near-sexual encounters from which I fled. It was just before my surgery when I was given a form to sign that I saw the text detailing other options, but it felt too late to reconsider. Additionally, thorough education for doctors on intersex and unique genital conditions, and a consent-focused approach to interacting with young patients is necessary. Imagine if there were extensive literature to distribute, maybe even written by intersex people, and community resources to talk to. Conversations about sex in all its various forms, and the knowledge that genitals don’t equate to maleness or femaleness, could make a world of difference for intersex children.
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