SexDiaries: 'I haven’t gotten into watching porn yet. I only use it for education. The last thing I looked up was reverse cowgirl, because I want to get better at it.'
Photo: James Gallagher This week, a woman in a happy relationship who just started masturbating: 26, in a relationship, heterosexual, New Jersey. 6:47 a.m. I wake up and go for a run at a park very close to my apartment. A mile is the goal each day, but sometimes I’m strapped for time and can only get a half-mile in. I lost around 22 pounds last year, after gaining that same amount when I saw a nutritionist who told me to eat avocado toast for breakfast and a sandwich for lunch.
6:00 p.m. Heading home. Not such a bad day but I know of some projects coming down the pipe that’ll give me a headache. 9:00 p.m. My boyfriend and I are about to FaceTime so I can use the selfie stick with him. I make sure the lighting is everything, and I masturbate with my fingers for the first time while he watches. I come. This isn’t a part of our nightly routine, though we have FaceTimed while we both masturbated once before. It was his idea originally, and I’m totally comfortable with this because I trust him, and I wear my headphones when we do this so he’s guiding me, talking to me, turning me on.
Finally, and this is especially silly, I thought if you masturbated that meant you couldn’t get a man to take care of your desires. 6:00 p.m. His mother picks us up to go to dinner at a place my boyfriend found. The food is amazing and we all pig out; I actually impress her with how much I can eat. Not sure if that’s a good thing, but I don’t care, I love eating.
6:00 p.m. The wedding was beautiful, but I didn’t cry as I normally would, maybe because it’s outside and I can’t hear the vows they’ve written, or maybe I’ve really settled into my desire to not get married? Before I met my current partner, I thought it was insane to live with the same person for the rest of your life.
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