For years, the term sandwich generation has generally been applied to adults (mostly women) taking care of their aging parents and their minor children at the same time.
, an organization that focuses on caregivers in the workplace, said “sandwich” is an inadequate term. “I think of it as a panini,” said Beck, a Chevy Chase, Md., resident who has four children ages 20 to 31, and an aging mother in Philadelphia. “It’s so messy, the choices are messy, like there’s no good, right, obvious choice.”
To help make ends meet, Vlock is also a care provider for a woman with developmental and psychiatric conditions who lives with them. “She is like family, and we all love her,” said Vlock, who is 60 and has autoimmune disease and long covid. “But at a time I thought I might be starting to wind down, I’m caring for another adult again, and neglecting myself.”
Laura Reagan is a 51-year-old licensed clinical social worker from Crownsville, Md., who helps care for a half-dozen elderly family members — two parents, two stepparents and two in-laws — who live in Norfolk. Reagan and her husband travel back and forth frequently, dealing with issues including dementia, cancer, broken bones and the shortage of help.
At times, caring for elderly parents and adult kids or grandkids is like existing in two different realities. Still, Perialas never anticipated she’d be helping with a grandchild at this stage. Other parents didn’t expect to have so much involvement in their kids’ young adult lives. “You’re supposed to be an empty nester and you’re supposed to have this freedom,” said Reagan, who was already a mother at her kids’ age.
“There is an overwhelming feeling with family caregivers of being in it alone,” said Jorwic, “and that’s what we’re trying to move away from.” In February, Caring Across Generations delivered a petition with about 100,000 signatures to Congress that demanded funding for paid family and medical leave, universal access to child care, and home and community-based services for older adults and disabled people.
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