The Quiet Ache of Children's Pandemic Birthdays

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The Quiet Ache of Children's Pandemic Birthdays
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.katie_gutz: The quiet ache of children's pandemic birthdays

. People were being evacuated to beaches, huddling on ashy shorelines beneath scarlet skies. In satellite images, the fires looked like a surreal rip in the skin of the earth, an unchecked bleed. And though the nearest fires were an hour away from Sydney, the air quality there wasThe morning before leaving, I found out I was pregnant. Seventeen hours on a plane sucking on ginger candy, trying to get Jo to sleep. As the plane lowered, bouncing, over the tarmac, a hush descended.

You went with us on that last trip we didn’t know was the last. The last time we would board an airplane, breathe other people’s air, stand close enough to catch the sharp poke of an elbow while someone tried to stuff luggage wheels-out in the overhead bin. You were with us when we told your grandmother and aunts and uncle and cousins about you; when everyone embraced me, they embraced you, too.

“This is your home, too,” I whispered to Jo, rocking her in the gentle waves. “This water, these trees—this is where a part of you comes from.”

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