'I store an endless supply of ideas under my wings. I can’t walk through our house, inside or out, without thinking of all the amazing things I could create. I love ideas. I grasp them as they come to me and hang on with talons.' emilyungar
The morning robins prance on the deck railing. I swallow my Adderall and stare at them through the window. It is March 3 — only 18 days until spring. The robins are first to the party every year. I imagine what their chirps mean. “It’s warm now! Let’s look for worms!”The term ‘birdbrain’ was coined for a reason.
This morning, I am the robin. The Midwest is thawing, and I can finally exit the house. The Pinterest ideas I’ve collected this winter can now blossom into action. Everywhere I look, I see ideas. Our deck stain has faded. Didn’t I see a deck on Pinterest with white railings? Yes, and a privacy screen with beautiful cedar wood slats. Can I build a privacy screen? Yes. I can build a privacy screen. It wouldn’t take that long. I have wood samples in the garage. I’ll go get them.
No! The grumpy boss in my brain says. Don’t build anything now. You haven’t even cleaned the breakfast dishes. The toilet hasn’t been cleaned in two weeks. You still have interior projects scattered across the family room., I store an endless supply of ideas under my wings. I can’t walk through our house, inside or out, without thinking of all the amazing things I could create. I love ideas. I grasp them as they come to me and hang on with talons. It’s exhilarating to fly in creative mode.
My husband opens the patio door and silently drags the wood scraps back to the garage, his face blank. He’s done this before. I’m drawn back into reality, and it feels like a hangover. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten out so much wood. I was so excited. Spring was here, finally. I just wanted to make the prototypes. I could make the space so beautiful for our family. I want a beautiful outdoor space for my family. They know I have good intentions.
The robin is a spirit animal in many cultures, I read. So passionate is the robin that its colors burst through for all the world to see. It jumps from branch to branch, too excited by the possibilities to settle on one location. I envy the robin its restless spirit. I decide it is my new spirit animal, the avian spokesperson for. I will allow myself a day when I literally chirp thinking of the possibilities for creation and joy that blossom in spring.
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