'When my husband slips into the strong grasp of hyperfocus, a brick wall goes up between him and the outside world. That includes me. When that happens and I feel annoyed or disappointed or lonely, I try to take a breath and remember these things.'
“Are you done listening to me?” I snarkily asked my husband as we unpacked the materials to assemble our new trampoline.
And then I learned about hyperfocus. For my husband, the kitchen is a zone of intense hyperfocus. Simple as that. I can get hurt and angry. I can cause a fight. Since those early days of our marriage, I’ve learned to recognize when he’s “in the zone” and to step back. If I’m in the right frame of mind , I make a mental note to save my conversation for later. If something important comes up first, I look him in the eye and say, “Can I have your attention for a minute?” It works.I imagine couples without ADHD have to handle distractedness too, since interruptions in communication are not exclusive to ADHD.
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