The new sleeping arrangement: Why some couples are choosing separate bedrooms

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The new sleeping arrangement: Why some couples are choosing separate bedrooms
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Experts explain the surprising benefits of this trend, and how to maintain intimacy and connection.

found that one in five couples sleep in separate rooms, with about two-thirds of those doing so every night. This practice, sometimes called a "sleep divorce," is more common than many people realize.

"When you're more anxious, or you're feeling depressed, or you're feeling exhausted, or you're feeling frustrated because you haven't had a good sleep, you're shorter with your partner. You're more likely to argue. You're less likely to find creative solutions to problems," Comrie said. Lindsay Dimatteo, a 40-year-old mother of two from Toronto, had a similar experience. In 2020, she and her husband started sleeping separately because her pregnancy snoring was disturbing his sleep. They made the arrangement permanent after realizing that sleeping in their own bedrooms meant they both got better-quality sleep.

There is also something special about going to bed at the same time as your partner, said Villa. "There's just this feeling of safety.… Sleeping is a very vulnerable state, so to be able to do that together, to be falling asleep at the same time and experiencing that vulnerability together, it's a real opportunity for trust-building," she said.

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