SexDiaries: 1:15 p.m. I’m not typically one of those girls who falls in love with someone after I have sex with them, but I almost did fall in love with him that night. It was like, one small step away from love
Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher This week, a single mom co-parenting with her ex while navigating a promising romance with a man she met just before the pandemic hit. 34, single, Stuyvesant Town.5:45 a.m. My infant daughter is awake, so I’m awake. I had her just before the coronavirus hit, so luckily it was a pretty “normal” delivery, aside from the fact that her father and I are no longer a couple. We broke up during my pregnancy.
5:00 p.m. My brother swings by to visit with the baby. I’ve been a little less strict than other people during COVID. When you’re alone with a baby, you have needs that are different from the average family. I hate these sanctimonious moms I see on Facebook. You really shouldn’t judge other families, even if you’re doing it for “the greater good.”
9:00 p.m. Moses has texted a few times during the day and finally I have time to write back. “I’m dead tired, my love, let’s talk tomorrow.” As I hit send, I wonder if using the word “love” is too much too fast. Too late now.5:45 a.m. There was no sleep last night. My boobs were exploding, so I was pumping a little, and breastfeeding a little, and the baby cried a lot.
9:00 p.m. I was lucky to have help today from my brother and my ex, who took shifts with the baby while I finished a deadline. I’m feeling grateful for my family and smitten with Moses. I text him from bed and tell him I’m horny. He immediately writes back, “Let’s fuck.” But I’m not sure about having full FaceTime sex. It’s a little embarrassing and things are so good as is — what if this makes things awkward? I call him instead. I tell him that I’m not ready to sext.
4:00 p.m. My ex comes to take our daughter. I tell him that I want to run something past him. I tell him I’ve been seeing someone and would like to maybe see him soon. My ex has been extremely responsible during the quarantine, and I feel I owe it to him to have this discussion. He says given the fact that Moses has siblings coming and going, it feels too risky. Even though my own brother comes and goes here, we know and trust my brother. We don’t know them.
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