Often, the mind tries to heal from trauma by entering similar situations.
These Mental Traps Could Keep You Stuck In Toxic Relationships People in toxic one-on-one relationships often tell me that this isn’t their first—it mirrors their family-of-origin. Statements like, “My partner is the male version of my mother,” or, “I am dating a version of my father,” often emerge, because of repetition compulsion, where the mind tries to heal from trauma by entering similar situations. While some clients have long escaped their toxic families-of-origin, others find it harder.
Sometimes when you do so, they also reward you with crumbs of kindness or decency, in what’s known as intermittent reinforcement. Other rewards like inheritances, resources, and privileges may be dangled; Otherwise the fear of being cut off from your family-of-origin can be enough to scare you. In other words, you enable them and they disable you. I have to stay small Psychologist Gay Hendricks Ph.D.
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