As soon as they start in with the marathon on November 1st, I am a goner.
I am a sucker for the Hallmark Channel and have no problem pulling up my panties and admitting it. Instead of finding me at a holiday party, I am sure to be under a blanket with some carbs tuned into the unfeasible magic instead. Maybe that’s why I love it so much — the fantasy known as everything looking and feeling like gumdrops and sugar coated bullshit is delicious. I crave an escape from the chaos of my real life and Hallmark delivers, one majestic tale at a time.
How about all the rescuing? Every time there is a damsel in distress she gets rescued in 2.2 seconds. Maybe it’s because all the women have perfect hair and makeup at all times. From the moment they awake, they are ready for a glamour shot session. Where was my Prince Charming the other day when my car broke down in the rain as I stood waiting for AAA for two hours and nobody else gave a damn? If I were in a Hallmark movie, that shit wouldn’t fly.
You will get to do this in a huge mansion of course. Everyone who lives over at Hallmark has one. The single working mom that is struggling to makes ends meet comes home to a small mansion every night where her kids are waiting for her in matching sweaters while making dinner. The single guy who is a fireman or spends his days doing some other type of service work, comes home to a mid-sized empty mansion, but he is usually greeted by a cat or two.
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