The Dread of Getting Dressed

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The Dread of Getting Dressed
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.xwaldie on reopening her closet for the first time in over a year: “I could not shake the feeling that I’d disturbed a tomb.”

, meanwhile, bears a sense of address: of speaking to an audience and, because you double as the message, being spoken. With the great unpause upon us, it is this idea that makes me feel, like our sit-up bench, swamped by anxieties that have piled up for months. My apprehension has to do, in part, with again needing to wonder whether the material on my body is too tight or loose or busy, or whether it’s the wrong cut for my build or a bad color for my complexion.

In the past, I never harbored especially strong feelings about getting dressed. It was, if you squinted, prosocial, part of the everyday enterprise of existing in public. One learns to conceive of oneself as, among other things, a set of pleasing or displeasing surfaces, because one is usually the scenery, not the protagonist. And there’s a freedom, even an art, to presentation.

For femme people, especially, there’s a pressure to pour ourselves into our appearances, because here, at least, we’ve enjoyed some latitude. And, having been inside for so long, it makes sense that people might find their creative energies spilling outward, in fluttery silks and dark denims, combat boots and unusual coats. After calamities, De Young told me, fashion often tends toward exuberance—the glitz of the Roaring Twenties, ruffles in the wake of the Franco-Prussian War.

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