SexDiaries: 'I try not to sound like a total drip. Just speaking my truth. It felt like too much for me.'
Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher This week, an occupational therapist dips a toe into the dating pool, and invites a man over after her kids to go bed: 45, single, New York.8:21 a.m. I wake up peacefully. My kids are with their father, per our divorce agreement, so this weekend I’m alone. The nice thing is, I get sleep, and the chaos in my house is nonexistent. The not-so-nice thing is, I generally feel a little bit depressed when it’s this quiet.
7 p.m. I order Thai food. Rarely do I drink beer, but it goes so good with this food! I’ve been swiping on the dating sites all day and night and not one single person excites me. 4 p.m. Kiddos are home. The usual shit show of homework, snacks, mess, and madness. But goodness, I adore them so much. 3 p.m. I leave work for the day to get my kids. I’m tired. At the bus pickup, I start talking to another dad. He’s adorable. I like his personality. Very friendly. I can’t tell if he’s married or not.
11:50 a.m. Miles is a lovely man! He’s a great listener, he’s attractive and he smells nice. I always find it a little unsettling when a man is in his 40s and has never been married or had kids, but I try not to judge. I’m into him … I am! 11 p.m. When he leaves for the night, we hug tightly at my door. I know I won’t see him for another three weeks, if I ever do see him again.8 a.m. I don’t know. I feel bummed out this morning as I get my kids off to school. I just feel too old for this morning-after stuff. Even if I had a morning-after glow , it all feels so juvenile.
3 p.m. Miles and I are texting about five or sex times a day. He’s in L.A. and sending me pictures of the typical hiking and green-juice bullshit. I’m from L.A. so it feels familiar and like we’re equal parts in the conversation. Our very early dating life is quite balanced, which I like. He knows my husband cheated but he doesn’t know about all the sex I had to have in my marriage, and how that wore me down, and stressed me out. It’s hard to explain that to a new man.
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