The Big Happiness Interview ☀️ | ‘I was homeless, I had no teeth, I was dying.' DJ Fat Tony on addiction, abuse, and the power of opening up.
Struggling with a decades-long addiction to drugs and alcohol, Tony finally hit rock bottom and chose a life of sobriety in 2006.
If you’re striving to be famous, you’re never going to be happy, you just become depressed. When you stop craving that stuff, and you start living in the moment, really good things start to happen to you again. If you’re carrying trauma, you can’t let people in, you push them away because you can’t cope with intimacy. So it’s much easier for us to keep people at arm’s length because otherwise – God Forbid – people will get to know the real us. So we hang on to our baggage and we go through life, living in ego and fear.
The only reason I eat the wrong foods is when the self-loathing takes hold. I won’t let it now but when I was doing the publicity tour for the book, I did struggle.I was talking about trauma of being sexually abused when I was ten. I’d be sitting there and people would be asking me questions about the abuse chapter. And as soon as they started talking about that, I would remember all over again – even the smell of the man who abused me.
I found an amazing therapist who allowed me to process it and free myself of the albatross around my neck. It was ridiculous that I felt guilty. I was a ten-year-old child and my innocence was taken from me. And that was replaced with guilt and shame.As cliched as it sounds, I’ve learned that the biggest relationship you’ll ever have, the hardest relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself.
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