The Best Part of the Oscars Gift Bag Was Two Milano Cookies

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The Best Part of the Oscars Gift Bag Was Two Milano Cookies
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Give me 49 cents worth of the Pepperidge Farm chocolate-stuffed sandwich cookie over a gold-plated vape pen any day

ParasiteHowever, I’m willing to join the Oscars swag bag discourse this year thanks to this fun fact about the 2020 haul, percookies, which cost $4.89 for a set of 10.” This is delightful, because I would gladly take a single pack, aka 49 cents worth of the Pepperidge Farm chocolate-stuffed sandwich cookie, over a gold-plated vape pen or amethyst-laden bath bomb. Milano cookies are truly the best swag bag cookie because they’re the classiest cookie out there.

When I was in middle school, these single-serving Milanos were a cafeteria status symbol; my mom deemed them too expensive, so the only way I’d get the cookie in my lunchbox was rarely, and only if they were purchased by the normal-sized Pepperidge Farm bag then portioned out into a Ziploc.

And Milano cookies, just like the spare ones I’d scrounge from other people’s lunchboxes, are weirdly best as this type of gift. At a friend’s wedding, they made an appearance in the hotel’s welcome gift bag: accessible yet still special, effortless in a way that sourcing Levain cookies for your wedding bag is not. They felt elegant as a pre-ceremony snack, and elegant in a fit of morning-after hangover desperation.

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