Stephen Colbert's advice to House Speaker Pelosi for future handshakes with the president: 'Don't offer him your hand. Offer him one finger.'
"We felt what you just felt. We drank what you drank," Colbert said at the top of his monologue. "Only now we're drunk at work," the host added, sipping on some alcohol before launching into hot takes on Trump's speech in a special edition titled "Don and the Giant Imspeech."
Colbert noted that among the speech's attendees was Chief Justice John Roberts, who is presiding over Trump's Senate impeachment trial that ends Wednesday and thus "working two jobs in Trump's economy." As for Mike Pence, who as vice president stood behind Trump and alongside House Speaker Pelosi, he was given "special permission from mother to stand next to a woman.
Pelosi was rebuffed by Trump, who refused to shake her hand before he began his speech. Colbert offered advice for if and when that situation arises again: "Don't offer him your hand. Offer him one finger." In Trump's speech on Tuesday night, he called of the "great American comeback" and boasted that unemployment was falling, and "the years of economic decay are over."
"But the years of mental decay have just begun," Colbert said. "Where is Kansas City. Where is Missouri. I'll never know," the host added in reference to Trump mistakenly congratulating Kansas after the Kansas City Chiefs, whose home field is in Missouri, won the Super Bowl LIV.
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