'I would want to contribute to housing costs, but it seems a bit unfair to split a mortgage payment down the middle when it’s going toward the house he ultimately owns'
Photo: H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock/Getty Images Email your money conundrums, from the technical to the psychological, to mytwocents@nymag.comMy boyfriend and I have a strong relationship and we’ve been discussing moving in together. The catch is, he already owns a house. We make similar incomes and feel comfortable splitting expenses evenly.
Even if your boyfriend is the most welcoming, “mi casa es su casa” kind of guy, you’re smart to exercise caution. Under law, his home belongs to him, and in many states, it’s his and his alone until your name goes on the deed papers — even if you get married, because it qualifies as a premarital asset. In my opinion, your hesitation to fund this mortgage isn’t just realistic; it’s better for your relationship’s future , because you and your boyfriend will have to talk this through.
In return for shouldering these risks and expenses, your boyfriend will build equity and perhaps one day sell the house for more than what he bought it. But for now, that doesn’t concern you. “It’s not fair to expect to receive these returns if you are not bearing any of the risk,” explains Asebedo. “To justify asking for part of those returns, then you would need to become a joint owner and borrower of the property, but given your relationship status, it sounds like you aren’t ready for this.
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