Family dynamics around money can be tough. That's why the Moneyist is here to help. My sister, 60, cries if my mom, 88, doesn’t give her money for her cats, car or rent. Should I intervene to try and protect my mom's finances?
My 60-year-old sister likes to regularly go to my 88-year-old mother for money to take her cats to the vet, buy tires for her car, buy a car to put those tires on, and pay her rent and other bills.
Mom told my sister of this conversation. I’m now in the doghouse because I tried to advocate for our mother. I’ve pretty much washed my hands of the matter. My mom and sister are of the mind that it is I who should be giving them both money. Somebody in this scenario needs to douse the flames of indignation and injustice. It may as well be you. Your sister plays her tiny violin, and your mother and other relatives cough up the money. Don’t play along. Inform your mother that you were trying to help and, if she does not want your help, there is nothing more you can do.
I have received so many tales of elder abuse — stories of parents who were dependent on adult children who in turn used their position of power to bleed their parents dry, or of elderly people who suddenly had a “new best friend” or companion who isolated them from loved ones in order to take over their estate.
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