In a candid new interview, Selena Gomez shared insight into her depression and the moments she thought about harming herself: 'I thought the world would be better if I wasn’t there.'
, so I remember feeling like I didn't belong. I felt the presence of everyone around me living full lives. I had this position, and I was really happy, but… was I? Do these materialistic things make me happy? I just didn't like who I was, because I didn't know who I was."
Selena is then seen apologizing to John Janick, the Chairman of Interscope Geffen A&M Records, telling him,"I don't want you to regret signing me." Concerned that the show felt"too young," the former Disney Channel star said,"I want nothing more than to not be my past and it comes back." Added Selena's close friend Raquelle Stevens,"I just remember it being chaotic and she was hearing all of these voices. [They] just kept getting louder and louder [and] that triggered some kind of psychotic break. If anyone saw what I saw and the state she was in at the mental hospital, they wouldn't have recognized her at all.
She publicly revealed her bipolar diagnosis in 2020 during an appearance on Miley Cyrus' "Bright Minded" Instagram Live series.Selena's mother Mandy Teefey reveals that she learned her daughter had suffered a mental breakdown in 2016 through TMZ . Still, Selena said she can"remember certain things that I did...and even to this day, I keep saying thank you and I'm sorry."After initially being diagnosed with the autoimmune disease in 2014, Selena struggled with a lupus flare in 2020 just as the coronavirus pandemic was beginning.
After delivering an emotional speech about her struggles with anxiety and depression while accepting the 2019 McLean Award at the hospital's Annual Dinner, Selena reveals that"being honest that night helped." And it ultimately led her to write"Lose You to Love Me," which she completed in just 45 minutes alongside songwriters Julia Michaels and Justin Tranter.
"The truth is I've never felt good enough," Selena admitted."Even when I'm on stage in front of a crowd, I'll always find the one person who doesn't like me and I believe them, I want to believe in myself. The people I've met here in Kenya are so giving, I just want to feel like I deserve to be here with them."
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