Seat Of Power: An Intimate Look Inside David Koch's Office

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Seat Of Power: An Intimate Look Inside David Koch's Office
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A FITTING TOTEM adorns the entrance of the Upper East Side building where David Koch—billionaire, political megadonor, former vice presidential candidate—keeps his office.

adorns the entrance of the Upper East Side building where David Koch—billionaire, political megadonor, former vice presidential candidate—keeps his office. It's a 9-foot-tall bronze replica of the Statue of Liberty cast from the original French mold. Past her and the displays of 16th-century armor in the limestone lobby, an elevator whisks guests up to the 22nd floor, where the executive vice president of $100-billion-in-sales Koch Industries holds court.

The space encapsulates the contrasts inherent to Koch, 77: He is by turns a family man, a deeply studied chemical engineer, a ballet lover, a philanthropist and, yes, a lightning rod—the type of person who can etch his name onto buildings and into American life."I really like the dinosaur there," Koch says, pointing out one of his favorite items in the office: a glass brontosaurus given to him by the American Museum of Natural History.

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David Koch Pumps Billions Of Dollars Into Campaign To Secure Antonin Scalia A Seat In The Holy TrinityDavid Koch Pumps Billions Of Dollars Into Campaign To Secure Antonin Scalia A Seat In The Holy TrinityTHE HEAVENS—Noting that the deceased billionaire wasted no time after entering into Heaven’s gates, angelic sources confirmed Friday that David Koch immediately launched a far-reaching, fully funded campaign to secure Antonin Scalia a seat in the Holy Trinity. “It’s been far too long since a true conservative like Antonin Scalia ascended to the highest ranks of Heaven and held the title of Divine Person,” said Koch, who, after arriving in the afterlife, reportedly began lobbying prominent Holy Angels and poured cash into conservative Heaven-wide advertising initiatives in order to secure a spot for the former Supreme Court justice to replace the Holy Spirit. “Over the years, Antonin has proved himself to have a strict originalist approach to scripture and God’s commandments, and he is the only logical choice to get Heaven back on track. This is the first step of many to ensure that one day, the Holy Trinity has a conservative majority.” At press time, sources had reported that David Koch had joined a coalition of prominent conservative Saints to begin grooming Neil Gorsuch for a position as a hypostasis when he dies.
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