Please Dear God Don’t Propose to Me in the Middle of a Marathon

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Please Dear God Don’t Propose to Me in the Middle of a Marathon
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(But if that’s your thing, congrats!)

First I want to say that I don’t know how this woman felt about this proposal. Maybe being proposed to more than halfway through her first marathon was exactly what she wanted. But to me, stopping a woman mid-marathon to propose is literally a man standing in the way of his partner’s goals in order to make it about him.

Aside from being bloated, chafed, and nutrient deprived, during a long distance race your body is pumping as much blood as possible to your muscles and your brain is not working at its peak. Your brain is a foggy mess. At mile 16, I’d mostly be thinking about throwing up, eating a giant cake, or counting the minutes until I can get in bed and watch five hours of Netflix while eating a giant cake.

Is it really because you love me and want to spend our lives together or is it because you can’t stand to have my accomplishments stand on their own without you being involved or even topping them?

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