Perspective: My childhood friend waited and waited for new lungs. But not lying down.
By Liz Leyden Liz Leyden is a writer living in New Jersey. May 9 Strong winds ground the helicopter, so the ambulance drives my friend to the hospital, the one that will keep her until the lungs either arrive in time or don’t.
As a taunt, it wasn’t so clever, but it caught her attention. Eyes blazing, she chased me on skinny legs until her fingernails raked my arm. She was always tough. I thought about that pill, swallowed every day without complaint. The thick silence of the hallway, that feeling of stolen magic, just the two of us, prickled my skin like it was yesterday. Back then, being sick seemed lucky.
I bring “Little House in the Big Woods,” her old favorite, to the hospital on her third day. The tracheotomy tube dangling from her neck delivers her oxygen now. She mouths hello when she sees me. I have heard her say it a million times; I can hear her say it now. Her handwriting is wobbly, but her questions — about carbon monoxide levels and whether any lungs are on the horizon — are sharp. Is she thinking of her kids? Crunching numbers, weighing whether her body will last? She is a widow. Her husband had cancer. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
She gets up and walks the next morning, listening to the Beastie Boys, aiming for the hallway overlooking the city. She studies photos of her kids and messages on cards taped to the wall: “Love is the best medicine” and “There is a light at the end of the tunnel.”
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